BEYONCE IN THE STORY

She just looks like she’ll whoop a *&$#@’s ass. That or she’ll cook Hazel and Gretel.

If you’ve read one interview with Beyonce, you’ve read them all. They’ll start off with the story of Destiny’s Child: four little girls with a dream to be music superstars who went on Star Search, lost, but persevered and ultimately became one of the most popular girl groups in history. Then it segues into the story of the first break up with LeToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson, which builds to a blip about the second breakup involving Farrah Franklin. Beyonce will then not reveal anything too personal about herself, choosing instead to hype her material. You know, like calling a song about being pissed off that some trife dude you bought a lot of things for moved on to another fool a new anthem for female empowerment. Jay-Z will come up, and she’ll uh oh right around that question, despite purposely being photographed with him every chance she gets and spinning the “Are they? Aren’t they?” factor to promote her singles.

Beyonce is never asked any of the hard questions and if by chance some lucky journalist bypasses her publicist to pose a question not included in the press release, Beyonce will give you an even blanker stare than she normally does. If you ever wondered where she gets it from, she got it from her mother. Tina is quick to cut off the reporter who relayed messages to the “fashion designer” from boutique owners complaining that their clothes don’t fit their clients. It’s a fair question given both Knowles’ touting the label as something catering to the curvy woman. Unless you’re telling the Knowles’ how great they are and how wonderful everything they produce is, they don’t want to hear it.

“Question?” Sure, if it’s pre-appoved.